From now until eternity, daily, we will delve into the pancreas of The Interociter's duodenum.
Daily...(semi-monthly)
ROBOTIC JAMZ
ROBOTIC JAMZ
ROBOTOC JAMZ
ROBOOTIC JAMZ
ROBOTIC JAMZ FOR A ROBOTIC WAY OF JAMZ
ROBOTIC JAMZ
Looptopia, here we topia
That's right
The savages have taken over, the trains will not run on time
Don't bother with the pre-cooked bacon
We want it for ourselves
Come to Looptopia, on May 2.
Turkey turkey turkey turkey
Turkey turkey turkey turkey
turkeyturkey turkey turkey turkey turkeyturkey turkeyturkey turkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkey
Tturkeyturkeyturkey turkeyturkey turkey turkey turkeyturkeyturkey turkeyturkeyturkey
Ttttturkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyttturkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkey
turkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkey turkey turkey turkey turkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkeyturkey
We've got no reason to cry
Tee hee, tee hee.
Whoa, whoa whooo.
There's no reeeeason to cry
We've no reason to cryyyy
No not no reason to reason
Welcome Back, theinterociter.com
We've got a show at the Elbo Room on Friday, April 20. The year is 2007, in case you were wondering.
I hope you'll come
Weeee've got everything yooooouu need
Eeeeverything youuuuu need
In Chicago, IL
for only 7 dolllars
New Show
Saturday, April 2
10pm
Lilly's
2515 N. Lincoln
Chicago, IL
$6
New Show
fri. mar. 4 9pm
gunther murphy's
1638 w. belmont
New Show
December 17, 2004
Yo! I gotta getta School Bus.
Yo! I gotta getta Lime.
Yo! I'm searchin' for a Honkey.
Yo! Take some cereal and leave me alone.
October 15, 2004
Ernestel Flores writes, "How many bands are out there with an animal listed in their title?"
Ernestel, in "Rock 'n' Roll", it all began with The Byrds...
Post WOn't Know Get Whhhwowl
October 14, 2004
the bitch-slap sofa sat lonely, in the corner. it was
different than the cock-block sofa, in that the
bitch-slap sofa actually remained together under
duress. however, it had an ungainly appearance and an
unnatural odor that tended towards gamey. fuck, i
hated that sofa. but man, it had one distinct
advantage over the other sofa-it was not inherently a
cock-blocking sofa. however-its earned
characteristics-the odd location, odd colour, and odd
smell, made one of its traits almost, but not quite,
cock blocking. why don't they design a love sofa?
Two Things
October 7, 2004
Hercules arrived home, took a brief shower, then went
off to Slumber. This was his usual routine, as even
strong guys need to rest their bodies. Along the way,
in his dream, be came across a puddle made of muds.
"Ah, Puddle of Muds", he thought, briskly wiping away
any thought of making any whiskey in his
homebrewmachine tonight. "I think I'll need to wipe my
brow, get down to business, and alternate my walk
between an amble and a gait." Just then, Hercules was
hit in the head, again. Harry pulled himself off the
sidewalk, poked at both of his gaping headwounds,
checked for his wallet and his pants, found both, and
was hysterically calm. "They didn't even get my Citgo
card," he mused.
Here You Go, What's The Uzi
October 5, 2004
while i was waiting for the phone to ring
i (it) turned into dinosaurs
their necks were quite impressive
but not as impressive as the stand off
between the odd woodpecker and the old maitre'd
that i witnessed when all us dinosaurs turned out the
lights
and put aside our differences for a night of restful
rest
the maitre'd used to have eyes
before we went about shuttin' em for a while
and the woodpecker used to have a beak
before we went about eliminatin' em from our dreams
and finally the phone rang
but it was just good ol' bronto
waiting to bite my head off
don't tell me she's a vegetarian
Swampy
October 1, 2004
eine kleine gateway to the west:
another afterwork nap
spares me from the everyday alien
but i woke in time for the everywhere alien
she's got this smile
that's more like a shirk of duty
but it's no smirk
it's not halfway between a smile and a shirk
the screen's shakin in terror over somethin
i can't tell
if it's runnin down my arms
thru this keyboard
thru the particle board
up the stand
to the CRT
smells like spaghetti
all up in here
all up in here
Lyric Slop ERA
September 29, 2004
If ordinary squirrels
Wore sweater vests
Then all the girls
Would like them
Cuz they'd think
The squirrels were worldly
If ordinary squirrels
Smoked real tobacco pipes
Then all the chaps
Would sense the
The notion of
The squirrels' intellegence
"Let's start posting random shit again."
September 28, 2004
The wheels on the buss go round and buss,
Round and buss
Buss and round.
Round and sound.
Ground round.
Have you ever noticed those cars that are really people?
Sausages, But Not Patties
September 1, 2004
Links Galore - look at The Interociter at various areas of the ever-expanding "inter-net"
A music video for "Noble Gas"
A place where you can buy our Emergenza Festival show at Double Door
We're now available for download at iTunes,
musicmatch,
buy.com,
Napster, and
viztas
Hello From Telephone Planet Land
August 22, 2004
New Album Finally Here!
Go Listen To Stuff On The Sounds Page!
New Show Coming Soon!
Fish!
Turtle!
Soup!
Crambone
March 17, 2004
Weeeeell�..bock-bock-doodle-atta-dee-atta-doodle-atta-hee-atta-ho-atta-daaaahhh�..
Tuesday night @ Chicago's Fireside Bowl was quite the show. Featuring Lowmaster on bass, Highhat on drums, Lockjaw blowin' horn,
and a first for our fab fave's, Tommy Slax performing as Uncle Pecos.
Got a guitar string on you there, n-n-nephew?"
Froggie went a-c-c-courtin�, he did ride, sword an' a, an-uh, an-uh a revolver by his side, C-C-Crambone...
Like Freddy Mercury Once Sang, Before His Untimely Death...
March 9, 2004
Emergan...EMERGENCY..MERGEN (EN) (en en) EMergenza. In a flurry of anticipation, and despite Tom's constipation (lay off
the fish tacos, dude), our long hours of training have paid off in spades. Like spicy mustard on hot pastrami, Chicago's finest
Combat Rock outfit triumphed over all who challanged. Well done, men. Yet, in the end, it is you, the fan, that has brought
on the recognition of our success. Many thanks then are due you, our loyal listner - - also to those who, through the good fortitude and strength of beer,
perhaps moved by our inspired performance, could Raise A Hand, and voted The Interociter winners supreme at the first round
of the ERMEGENZA FESTIVAL in Chicago, which if you
are reading this, already know took place March 7 @ The Note on Milwaukee. Make a note to yourself and check back for the next
round due to take place in May.
Rock The Casbah!
Real News Alert. Roo Roo Roo.
November 12, 2003
You can now buy "The Interociter Predicts the Weather" online - yowzers!
Either click here, or go to the Sounds page and click on the album itself - yowzers!
Down on Bob Horner, Out Rodney Peete
November 10, 2003
Sing it with me now-ow-ow-ow...
Bootstrap hammerhead
Where did you go?
Noodlenose waterbed
Where's your 10th toe?
You don't have to leave
On your gut's New Year's Eve
But don't you ever try to steal my mule.
Duhnt - D'Duh.
NARC Taco, Underground Flan
October 28, 2003
You know you're in trouble when even your hat is out to get you. Don't get me started on that whole slab of beef.
Red sauce, green sauce, I really dont care. Just keep them Suns comin'. Joe Klein. Larry Nance. Garfield Heard.
Paul Westhead? Sure! Why not?
But boy, oh boy, Cotton Fitzsimmons, stay the crap out of my garage. I dont care how much you like the smell of
paint fumes, I just cannot allow it. Whatever happened to your wife? Tell her to bake you some beans. You know what?
I'd like to see you put an apron on for once in your life. I dare you. You'll never best Doug Moe's fish ties anyhow.
Actual News!
October 14, 2003
Rub your tired eyes all you want, children, but you're still going to see the same thing. Today, we present you not
mindless ramblings, nor drug-induced poetry, nor coporate-boredom-inspired prose, but actual news. That's right, we
are doing stuff.
As you can see to your immediate right (and up a little in a few days) the Boys have two new shows, one sooner, one later.
Also, they draw their sw-ords against Uberstudio once more. You heard correctly, the "Studio that Encompasses All". These
intrepid warriors will be recording their new album in the coming weeks, and should provide it to your starved ears
within a short few months.
Farewell, fair readers, for we ride again toward the horizon of triumph and prosperity.
Eyes? Yes. Nose? Not So Much...
October 3, 2003
Victorious. Thats what they say.
Victorious. Each and every day.
You know its true,
That my ankles are put together with glue,
And it's a good thing I only eat salad once a week.
http://www.wired.com/animation/collection/peter_richardson/shinji/
Like Soy Sauce?
Billowing Clouds of Imminent Doom
October 2, 2003
Affected by constant dawdling, Ernie fought Greg
Howard ineffectively. "Just kill!" laughed Mitch,
nervously. Obviously, punch quotient really slanted
toward underdog Velaquez. "We're Xanadu!" yelled Zeke
Yohimbe. "X-ray William's voluptuous undercarriage."
Terrified, sullen rats quashed particular optimism;
nay: many losers killed jerkoff immature hooligans,
garishly flipping every decision; consciously
battering ambivalence.
Howard d. Velasquez
Neutered Man Makes Splash
September 29, 2003
The time has come. Wear all your best things. Put
diamonds on it, mother. Leave all your tourniquets
behind. The ooze will ooze faster than you ever
could.
"But there's only one way out," he murmured. "Take off
your shirt, Clarence."
The lashes came with astonishing force. They fed him
clams whilst the whipping continued. Only the fact
that the whip was made of licorice saved Clarence from
pain and agony unlike he had ever felt.
"Remove the last barren field from the realm."
Dorplinger Final? Yes.
September 25, 2003
PART II
I went a wuzzling, (oh we went a guzzling)
Trident is smothering (oh why stop the mothering),
Take me for example. I never ever tried anything like
that before. I do a lot of wild stuff but never will
I ever stoop to that level of ingratiation. Oh no. I
love my country too much. Love it or leave it,
asswipe. Go back to Canada, you roach-infested
turdcompoop. And take your ugly toothless wife and
her thousand-mile ass with you.
Bring me back some gum.
Pasta Pre-Order Letdown
September 19, 2003
PART I-
The view of the surrounding bay was commanding. The
room rotated on two axes, independent of each other
and in constant flux. The amount of gravity created
by the effect was negligible.
Pierre the wonder monkey lived in that room.
Subsisting on a diet of a box of hair, Pierre viewed
that bay in a rare way; twice at the same time with
quite different sightlines and senses.
This split, catastrophic for humans, was of little
effect on Pierre. He recognized that it was odd to
possess two memories of the exact same events, but he
chalked that up to the fact he had a monkey-brain.
Do NOT Mention the Parascope
September 16, 2003
I like to color inside the lines. And yet I break all the laws.
Analyze me. Come on, I dare ya's. Double doggy dogg dare ya's.
What do you think, I'll just lie on your stupid little couch and suck my thumb for an hour. Why dont you suck my thumb?
Why dont you suck my thumb and pay me $370?
Give me a plant on my birthday. Bake me a cobbler. Patch my shoe. Shut the fuck up.
Perrywinkle is my favorite.
Salon juice french
September 15, 2003
The contamination had spread from the Eest to the
Weest. Only Sav-a-lot could save our intrepid hotties
now. There they were, caught in the Trade Winds, with
little more than a suitcase, a pair of galoshes, and a
multi-granola pak. They were screwed.
Suddenly!
They all celebrated with a feest of dental floss and
Shirley MacLaine brand unPopCorn.
Suddenly.
sullenly.
We all despise you. You know who you are, keeper of
the winds and suitcases.
Old Decisions
September 12, 2003
Tomatoes?
Rakes.
Tomatoes?
Rakes.
Tomatoes?
Rakes.
Tomatoes?
Rakes.
Tomatoes?
Rakes.
Tomatoes?
Taxidermy
Moose Ears Caught Above the Antlers
September 11, 2003
"It will crystallize in a minute," he said, drowsily.
"I certainly hope so," she replied, screechingly,
"Meth ain't no good unless it's crystallized."
"Why would I lie to you? I must lie down."
"You've lied to me from day one. You ain't no janitor
for the Shepardstown Public Schools!"
"Yes, but I do own a bathtub."
She pondered. "You're right about that. It's my
ticket out of this hell-hole."
She paused to scratch the small of her back, which had
bothered her ever since their previous gallavant
through the woods ringing the southern edge of the
Rasmussen property. The rash had only recently become
infected, so anti-biotics would save her yet.
"Yes, this'll be good meth. I need to wake up." He
dipped his finger into the brew and sucked on it. He
jumped up, agitated. "Oh, shit, Kayla! Did you get
Sucrets like I told you too?"
"No. Halls was on sale, Mark...I ain't made of money!"
Total Meltdown Pillaged Cactus Potential
September 8, 2003
Do you like these pants? I had you in mind when I ripped them off that sleeping homeless guy wearing the propeller beanie.
No, it's not like that. I don't think of pants in that context. Must everything be about fish with you? It's always red snapper this,
grouper that.
What's that? You don't like them? Is it because of the holes, because I can patch those up. No? Well guess what: I fooled you.
They're not pants, they're trousers. What's the difference? Well, trousers are like pants, only they taper more severely and have more
vowels.
You still don't like them? Fine. We'll see how you like them next time you need me to give you a ride to work when you're running late.
You know, the elephants aren't going to wait for you anymore. They can stomp watermelons without your guidance.
Nerf Concussion
September 5, 2003
What if I can't find the mime? We'll all have to talk forever. How could it be that we've blabbed so
relentlessly these past turns of the moon that our tongues are now the unstoppable force to our
noodles' ever more movable object?
Oh, ye grand spectre, with your too-rosy cheeks and ghastly pale hue, don your beret and stripy shirt upon our lot, returning
the gloriousity of space-race-rackey to our wretched hills.
The Beauty of the Lassoo
September 3, 2003
[The screen momentarily goes black, and when the picture returns, the
bridge is foggy. Tom and Crow stand by the control console. Mike slowly
rises from the ground.]
Mike: Ow. What happened? And why is the bridge so cloudy?
Tom: I'm sorry Mike. I was messing around with the Interociter, and I
accidentally reset the environmental controls. There's just a lot
of steam in the air, that's all.
Mike: Okay, but what hit me?
Tom: Well, before the environmental controls were reset, I
accidentally tore out some of the girders in the hull.
Mike: What?!
Crow: Calm down Mike. Gypsy was able to contain the damage to just one
area.
Knickers at me Doorstep
September 2, 2003
Just killing time. I've been in this vat for hours.
Maybe I need more vinegar. Just killing time. The
last one left around Flursday. Do you want a
sandwich? I can accompany that nicely. I make a
flavorful snack on my own, as well. Sigh. Just
killing time. Pick me! Not that viscous liquid! No!
Sigh. Just killing time.
I can't eat myself, you know.
I'm still waiting.
Tootleey Doodleey Doo
August 28, 2003
In 1952, zucchinis and cucumbers battled for control of Pangea. Under a canopy of mortar fire, I asked a man named Portion
what the difference between the factions was.
"Imagination," he said. Portion liked salad, but only in moderation.
In the end, the zucchinis won because nobody wanted to ally themselves with a sleeping communist giant.
Portion ended up choking on a Blow Pop when the L driver took a turn too fast and sent him careening into a 1-800-DIVORCE placard.
Poor guy. And he was just about to reach the gum, too.
And that, Friends, is why everybody pretends to like salad.
But not odd November, yet
August 26, 2003
The Umpire Strides Back
the umpire wipes the plate
he always wipes his plate cleam
he's a heart attack, that's a fact
staggers back behind the catcher
here's the pitch-foul tip
he takes it on the chin
and his face explodes in a cry,
a simultaneous aortic embolism fells him
the pitcher is charged with homicide
curt schilling's in jail
man
Porous enough to spit through
August 25, 2003
Next, there was an astonishing success, repeated again
on the next night, under the stars and the moon and
the Mars and the basketball hoop where something
besides decrepitude hung in the air, a kind of hope,
rope-a-dope. No amount of cynicism or fear of
cynicism or ennui could have decapitated this
monstrosity of something resembling love and desire.
Perhaps it was fleeting, unlike that of our lucky
friends, and it certainly was drunken, but it was, at
least temporarily, exactly what I wanted and needed,
and I trust you felt the same.
Get on the motorcade-
Slax
Brisket for some, Pot Roast for ALL!
August 22, 2003
Lightning Flash: The intrepid soldiers are returned from intensive gunnery training and custodial obligations. A joyous reunion feast
was extended by our esteemed spiritual leader, Mr. Buxerton, Esq., at which he informed the troops they have two forthcoming skirmishes
of which to partake...
Friday 9/5 at The Underground Lounge
Tuesday 9/16 at The Beat Kitchen
On to the Aunties...
Marriage is like this:
Make me some ice cream.
Carriage is like this:
Find me some Clydesdales.
Pairiage is like this:
Put the Clydesdales in the ice cream.
Love is lime lime:
Better than lemon lime *not lomon plodge*
Reflecting Los Guardzillos Tommorow
August 21, 2003
This is 1973, omellets abound. Why? I'll tell you why - the Swedes and their god-damned buffaloes. Where are the ostriches?
Oh, how I yearn for the good old days. Days when one could walk freely amongst the swallows, uniterupted by the petty thoughts
of Mr. Gallwallingham.
Introducing the Barkin'est Blob on the Block
August 20, 2003
Some people recycle. I tricycle. Three times, that's
right. Not just again, but unique. There's times
when the third time is better than the fourth.
There's times when the opposite is true. Being that
the fourth does not exist, I may have to enlighten you
all.
A slow dog with a hang-dog look does it. Creepily,
mustachioed swine-consultants do not. The part in the
short film will be played my Matt Damon. Conversely,
the feature film will feature you.
To synopsize: Not redone, three times is neither
better nor worse than the null fourth when completed
by a collapsing canine in opposition to the fry cooks:
you are Matt Damon.
Thank you for the flowerpot.
Where there's poke, there's tire
No Interociter news kiddies (stay tuned for upcoming
shows with our friends in Eyes to Space and
Netallica).
but: here's news you can yuze:
HOW TO MAKE HERB SALTS
SIMPLE TO MAKE:
For Cumin, Marjoram or Thyme Herb Salts, use the
ground herbs. For others, crush to a powder the
leaves of Sweet Basil, Oregano, Rosemary, or Dill
Seeds-using a mortar and pestle or a rolling pin on a
sheet of waxed paper.
Now, blend each herb with Interociter brand salt by
crushing them together (gently crushing)(while
whispering sweet nothings into the ears of the herbs).
You can use your shoe for this (except deck shoes).
Then, remove all clothing. Place herbed salt into
your navel (or belly-button, for the infantile amongst
you). If you possess an "outie", you freak, find a
friend with a normal navel, knock them unconscious,
and place the herbed salt in their left ear.
Now you are ready to party. Blast Interociter brand
music. Enjoy your herbed salt.
Could There Be an Older Computer Program?
Look around you. Stuff is new. Just like the virgin zuchini of the 17th Forest, you have stumbled upon one of the last
unmolested wonders of the natural world. The vivid colors, the horrid screams, the tasty marshmallows. All right in
front of your eyes and yet a million miles away. Just like that box of Saltines hovering salivatingly close to
your grubby little hands last night.
What? Whats that you say? No, no one said anything about virgin marshmallows.
The Interociter has kicked off the doldrums and will pre-e-e-form 17 magical shows in a span of only 29 hours. Here are
the only four I'll tell you about -------------------------------------------------------------->
Bluaurggh.
A Marketing Scam Gone Horribly Awry
The Interociter has kicked the slugs off of your neighbor's pumpkins for long enough - it's fed up and wants some of
its own candy. The boyzzz have three intestinal shows on the horizon and will perform such touchingly inspirational
material that you - That's Right, YOU - should revolt against every impulse in your flabby physique and experience the
events in person.
You heard right - slugs. Slugz:
Rock House Cafe.
Saturday, February 15th.
Wise Fool's Pub.
Thursday, February 20th.
Crystal Pepsi.
Saturday, March 1st.
The Minstrel To See You
After years of inhumane toil and adversity, The Interociter has heroically
pulled itself out of the mire that is Milwaukee Ave. south of North Ave.
Fighting for
their very livelihood in such adverse condidtions as The Big Hourse Lounge and
Phyllis' Musical Inn, The Interociter not only honed its combat skills, but discovered a secret
warp zone hidden beneath the depths of the Blue Line. Battered and forlorn, but not without
hope, The Interociter recieved a jolt of new-found vitality as they were thrust upon the
"Friendly, Dancing" beacon of the Empty Bottle. Tapping all of their remaining strenght,
The Interociter vanquished the mighty, Second-Don-Flamingo-esqe Empty Bottle in its first
attempt, emerging on the other side a more strapping, formidable force than ever.
But alas, children, for The Interociter is by no means through the woods. It must now
travel to the brimming gates of Hades as it faces its mightiest and most greusomely
fearsome foe to date...
The Double Door.
Tuesday, January 21st.
The Months of Secrecy Have Passed
That's right, folks, The Interociter had gone undercover-incognitoin' in recent weeks. And
you thought we were just lazy. Shame on you, ingrate.
The Interociter had been playing shows, only under the auspices of "Chaiman Mao and the Communists".
If you were actually interested in them and not us, you can visit thepeopleswebsite@hammerandsickle.org
Anyway, after getting back into daylight business, The Interociter has decided to hold, for its
esteemed clientel, it's Greatest Show Ever.
Empty Bottle.
Monday, December 23th.
News You Can Yuze
Noodle: The Interociter soullessly continues its conquest of the Lakeview front tonight, rummaging and rampaging
through Coyle's Tippling House.
Friday, September 27th, 9:30pm.
Meatball: In an unexpected turn of events, The Interociter has been reviewed in the Chicago Sun-Times by
both your and my favorite rock critic, Jim DeRogatis. He didn't even think it was all that shitty, to boot.
You can look at it here -- The Interociter stands tall at the bottom:
http://www.suntimes.com/output/derogatis/wkp-news-live27.html
Gorilla Egg: "The Interociter Predicts the Weather" is now open for business... If you want to take a tickle,
drop a note in the "Guesty" section that says "I need a CD and some corned beef hash."
It's Like Broccoli and Cheese
You get everything.
After their triumphantly successful travels to Schlitzville -- I mean Milwaukee, The Interociter
returns to unexpectedly team up with their Sooper Rock Sooper Rivals, Jesus and the Devil.
Also, bring two fivey buxertons and you could leave with a limited edition "The Interociter Predicts the
Weather" CD.
Wednesday, August 28th, 9:30pm.
In Fact, Isn't Milwaukee an Indian Name?
Why yes, Pete, it is.
Like the noble, fearless explorers LaSalle and Champlain before them, the equally corageuous outfit of trailblazers,
The Interociter, in what is perhaps their greatest challenge to date, will travel selflessly, and solely for the betterment of their beloved homeland, into the wooly, unpredictable forests of the North
this very Friday. Yup, The troop will be knockin your socks in Mi-lea-wau-kay, so
follow along, if you think you've got what it takes.
This Friday, August 16th, Night-time.
Summer's Here, So Hit the Links!! Lakeview Links!!
The All-Star Husky Jam...This Wednesday, August 14th, 10pm...
That's right, Sally. Lakeview's third favorite watering hole opens its gates to those lovable darlings of the 70s,
The Interociter. Your long lost heros will be performing at 10:00 and will be flanked by two imminent Oak Park
bands, Blue New World and Chinchilla Fury, who will in turn be flanked by Otis Wilson and Wilbur Marshall.
There might even be some recorded sounds available for all you capitalists out there.
Bighorsefulness Is Immenent
Despite the efforts of the CPD to narc the party out, The Interociter once again triumphantly triumphed and was
an, although by no means the, integral component of The Rock that was the 1st Annual Gentrification Bash.
Prepare yo' self, though. Thursday August First marks The Interociter's boistrously boistrous return to its
de facto home, the Big Horse Lounge. What does de facto mean anyway?
Take Me To Toledo bitch
After so many hours of hard labour, we had to let loose. The Beat Kitchen was once again a great show.
Did ya'll like our new material? Did anyone even notice? hmm... Rumor mill has that a commercial grade product
may be in the offering soon.
Big Thanks To All of Our Darling Fans!
Our most recent show at The Prodigal Son on Monday, May 17 was just great.
Thanks to everyone for coming out. We hope you enjoyed the show. We are looking forward to rocking
out in the near future. Stay tuned...
Interested In Booking The Interociter?
Give us a call @ 312-925-1355 and ask for Fivey.